If you are 40 or older, you might be able to relate to what I'm about to
say!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with
walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill....
Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in
hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard
I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of fourty, I can't help but look
around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean,
compared to my childhood you live in a damn Utopia! Here's a dozen reasons
why you kids don't know your arse from your elbow.....................
1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to
know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up
ourselves.... in the card catalogue!! Would take all bloody day and you
still wouldn't get what you were after.
2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a
pen! Then you had to walk all the way to the corner shop to buy a stamp,
then walk all the way to the nearest letter box to post, and it would take
like a week to get there!
3) Social Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact,
the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass and even
our teachers slapped us silly....and trust me, you don't even want to know
about the headmaster's size 12 plimsoll. Oh man, it hurts just thinking
about it....... Nowhere was safe!!!
4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music,
you had to get the bus to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ
would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD
players! We had tape decks. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when
finished and then the tape would get chewed up, rendering it useless.
6) There weren't any freakin' mobile phones either. If you left the house,
you just didn't receive any calls and if you wanted to make one, you had to
queue up outside a red phone box for 10 minutes. Then when you made the
call, you had to hold your nose cos some drunk b*****d had used the box as
a toilet. And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no
idea how annoying you are.
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no
idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, one of your mates
who you owed money to, your drug dealer, Kays catalogue collection
agent.... you almost pissed yourself not knowing who it was!!! You just had
to pick it up and take your chances!
7) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600 with games like 'Space
Invaders' and 'Asteroids'... Your screen guy was a little square! You
actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels
or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win, nor
was the game set in some Utopian fantasy world either. Instead it was
exactly like REAL LIFE.... it just kept getting harder and harder until you
died!!!!
8) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your
ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh no,
what's the world coming to?!?!
9) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on
Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for
cartoons, you spoiled little rat-b******s!
10) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we
had to use the stove! Either that or put it in our underpants while we
exercised....... okay forget the underpants bit, I made that up cos I'm so
bloody furious at you spoilt little shitbags!
11) And in the school holidays, our parents told us to stay outside and
play... all day long. Oh no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if
you came back inside you were doing chores until you got fed up and went
outside again..... One huge vicious circle!
12) And car seats - oh, please! Dad threw you in the back seat and you hung
on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the
last moment if he had to stop suddenly.... and if your head hit the
dashboard, you'd get another slap in the face for not holding on tight
enough!!!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too
easy. You're spoilt rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back
in 1985 or any time before; Now get the heck out of my face before I knock
7 bells out of you for no reason other than I'm having a bad day..... Just
like my dad used to do to me!!!!!!!!!
Regards,
The Over 40 Crowd
Current Rating (18 Votes): 9.7 
