Fred came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and
fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before he Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your
sleep, Fred.'
Fred was stunned. 'I'm dead?
‘No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and
that is as a chicken.'
Fred was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
home.
The next thing he knew he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking
the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day
here?'
'Not bad,' replied Fred the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside.
Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid
an egg before?'
'Never,' said Fred.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was
overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another
egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his
head, and heard.....
"Fred, wake up! You've shit the bed!"
Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be !!
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