I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got
the whole thing backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old
guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least
35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every ten
seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving
us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the
enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is
a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.'
We're bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some ***hole
that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a
while.....
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get
up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and
can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some
fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put
them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.... We're used to getting screamed
and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an
appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get
out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however..... I've been in
combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side,
nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too..... I've
never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave or to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back
of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more
about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists..... The last thing an enemy
would want to see is a couple million hacked off old farts with bad
attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already
behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50.... in menopause! You think MEN
have attitudes? Ohhhhhhhh my goodness!!! If nothing else, put them on
border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Current Rating (14 Votes): 9.2 
